Blog Nasi Padang - S M Ong: Shitty times: Nasi goreng poisoning, $9.70 <b>nasi padang</b> <b>...</b> |
| S M Ong: Shitty times: Nasi goreng poisoning, $9.70 <b>nasi padang</b> <b>...</b> Posted: 10 May 2014 11:26 AM PDT  Last week at home, I went to the toilet and read The Straits Times while taking a dump.After I was done, I joined my teenage daughter at the dining table where she was having her lunch. Although I had already eaten, I wanted to keep her company since she always complains about having to eat alone. But instead of appreciating my thoughtfulness, she recoiled in horror as I sat next to her and continued reading the paper.
"I thought you wanted me to sit with you," I said. "But you just went to the toilet," she said. "So?" I asked. "I washed my hands." "Your shit newspaper!" I was confused at first by what she meant. I know some people like to call The Straits Times "The Shitty Times", but I think my daughter meant it more literally. She was not referring to what was in the paper, but what might be on it. Apparently, just because I took the newspaper into the toilet with me, to her, it was as good as I had wiped my ass with it – which, I should make clear, I didn't.
That was why I changed my mind about telling her about the faeces transplants at NUH that I had just read about in the paper while I was in the toilet. It might ruin her appetite even further. Shitty times indeed. By the way my daughter over-reacted, it was like I had committed some sort of heinous food crime by joining her with my toilet-tainted newspaper at the dining table where she was eating the mixed vegetable rice I had bought for her. You would think that I had tried to poison her with some over-spicy nasi goreng kampung. Maybe she should go to Johor Baru and make a police report.
Just three months ago, the police chief of Johor assured Singaporeans that we are not specifically targeted by criminals in JB. He said: "Crimes are committed when an opportunity arises regardless of (a victim's) race, religion, sex and nationality." So what he was saying is that if you get scammed, robbed, kidnapped or murdered in JB, be reassured that it's not because you're Singaporean. It's because you're there. The police chief also pointed out that last year, only 397 cases of crime were reported by Singaporeans, compared to 466 in 2012. I wonder if any of those cases included poisoning by nasi goreng kampung. This was what happened to a Singaporean in JB a week and a half ago.
On April 30, retiree Lau Thiam Huat paid RM3.50 (S$1.35) for a plate of nasi goreng kampung in a coffee shop at Jalan Bukit Timbalan near City Square shopping centre. It was not the first time he ate the dish there, but this time, it was different.
He stopped eating after that, but still felt the sting on his tongue the next day and decided to make a police report before seeing a doctor. "I wanted to make sure I could nail them down easily if they really meant to poison me." But why would anyone want to poison a 60-year-old Singaporean retiree in JB?
"It's just my gut feel," said Mr Lau. Gut feel? Or just acid indigestion? The deputy police chief of South Johor Baru confirmed that the police had received the report, but said no action would be taken because there are no relevant laws about this matter.
And you can spray-paint that on top of a Toa Payoh HDB block.
On second thought, don't. Of course, there is no lack of food crime in Singapore as well.
One woman paid $7 for rice, fried fish and mussels. Another guy paid $9.70 for rice, chicken, vegetable and stingray. Mr Lau might have been poisoned by his $1.35 nasi goreng kampung, but at least he wasn't overcharged for it.
More seriously, it seems that Burger King Singapore has been guilty of skimping on the rendang sauce in its Rendang Burger, which was reintroduced last month. The fast food chain posted this mea culpa on Facebook on Thursday:
Regular readers of this column may recall that last year, Burger King also brought back the Rendang Burger for a limited time but added mayonnaise which I called "a crime against nature and all taste buds". Fortunately, this year, Burger King has ditched the mayo, so I don't have to make a police report. I'll probably buy the Rendang Burger for my daughter for lunch tomorrow to make up for the newspaper incident. The burger better not be dry. Unfortunately, the rendang sauce looks a lot like… never mind. Brings a whole new meaning to faeces transplant. - Published in The New Paper, 11 May 2014  |
| A statistical analysis of the $2.50 <b>Nasi Padang</b>? | The Online Citizen Posted: 17 Dec 2013 08:58 AM PST By Leong Sze Hian
I refer to the Editorial "Baey: Owner charged me $2.50 out of respect & goodwill" (TR Emeritus, Dec 17). It states that "In his column in My Paper today (17 Dec), Mr Baey started by saying that he loves hawker food and likes to eat at hawker centres, coffee shops and food courts. "There are not many countries in the world like Singapore where one can easily find reasonably priced food with the same high level of hygiene and great variety. Singapore is indeed a food paradise," he said. "In Parliament, I have spoken a few times on hawker centres, hawker food and our hawker culture. I have urged the government to help preserve this heritage and national identity of Singapore, and even proposed setting up a Singapore Food Museum." Probability? From statistical perspective, someone who loves and likes and talks often even in Parliament, is probably (statistically) not very likely to not know that a glass of bandung is normally about $1.20 and arguably, therefore a statistical abnormality to think that it is only 50 cents? As to "He said that he likes to post photos of hawker food on social media, not to promote the stalls but to "document and celebrate the richness of our hawker food that many of us love" "Black swan"? This may be what we call in statistics a "black swan" – because since its "not to promote the stalls" – why are we now literally promoting and advertising for the stall that charged a statistically exceptional low price by saying,
Abeit the impropriety of seemingly now promoting and advertising in the media for the very stall that people have been complaining about giving him, and his accepting the statistically abnormally low price? "Statistical contradiction"? With regard to "He also said that he is not so naive as to think that all food is cheap. "And if I were to jump to a conclusion that all food is cheap just because I had paid $2.50 for a nasi padang, that would have been too naive of me," he said" - this may be what will henceforth be known as a "statistical contradiction" – why then did you post in facebook in the first place? "Rare statistical event"? In respect of "He acknowledged that his staff had recognised me that day and out of respect for my work and service in the community, charged me only $3 when it was more than $4″ - This may be what we call a "rare statistical event" – when the staff of a hawker stall can decide on his own to charge $3 instead of about $5 "out of respect for my work and service in the community"? By the way, this appears to be another statistical aberration – shouldn't it be about $5 ($3.70 Nasi Padang plus about $1.20 Bandung drink), instead of "more than $4″? "Statistical favourite" of the day! Looking at all the numbers and statistics in this continuing saga – I particularly like the subject TR Emeritus Editor's remarks – "Actually, if Mr Baey had wanted to compare apple with apple, he should have ordered a piece of chicken and two veggies, plus a bandung drink – the exact same food he ordered on 11 December. Then Singaporeans would know how much actual "goodwill" he received from the stall owner that day" – kind of like my "statistical favourite" of the day! Ordinary citizens don't have to worry too much about statistics? Oh, by the way – I had Nasi Padang recently and paid the normal price, but I was charged only 50 cents for the mineral water (normally $1). You see – yet another hawker offered not to charge me anything – she said "you must be quite poor writing for free almost everyday and I like to read your articles at TR Emeritus, theonlinecitizen and The Real Singapore". I tried very hard to decline to accept the free food (after all it only happens once in a blue moon – like about every few months or so). Well, like they say in statistics – if you are just an ordinary citizen amongst the millions – you are just a mere lesser mortal (like a pin in a haystack) – you may not have to worry so much about accepting a bottle of mineral water at half the price, from a very insistent hawker once in a while! |
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